NL / EN

Body of Art is a framework consisting of ten art pieces. Ten themes, from the book Body of Art*, each offer a context and guideline from which research is done into the human body. Eventually creating a multi phased work of art that shows how we experience our humanity through our physical body.

* Phaidon, 2015



agenda

08 November
Re:Born
Film Festival, Durham, North Carolina, USA
roguedancers.com

20 till 22 November
Re:Born at Dance on Screen 2020 Graz
Graz, Austria
danceonscreen.at

20 March
Premiere Last Resistance
De Nieuwe Vorst, Tilburg
denieuwevorst.nl

14 October
Re:Born film & lecture at Congres CLEVENT - 2021
Amsterdam
celevt.nl



04 December
Preview Re:Born
Cinecitta, Tilburg
popupcinema.nu

20 till 21 December
Re:Born live
United-C, Eindhoven
unitedcowboys.net

25 January
Re:Born live
HERA, Tilburg

21 till 28 February
Re:Born as part of FilmFest by Rogue Dance
Online
roguedancers.com

28 February
Lullaby
Theaters Tilburg
theaterstilburg.nl

04 March
Lullaby
Antwerp, Belgium
madamfortuna.be

05 March
Re:Born film
Pand-P, Eindhoven
pand-p.nl

06 March
Re:Born, film
Denver, Colorado, USA
roguedancers.com

21 March
Annemijn at Talkshow Cement // CANCELLED
Verkadefabriek, Den Bosch
festivalcement.nl

22 March
Lecture performance Re:Born at Moving Futures // CANCELLED
Rotterdam
movingfutures.nl

23 till 25 March
Re:Born at Festival Cement // CANCELLED
Verkadefabriek, Den Bosch
festivalcement.nl

28 till 29 March
Worldpremiere Re:Born at Cinedans // CANCELLED
EYE, Amsterdam
cinedans.nl

23 till 25 April
Re:Born at Moving Futures // CANCELLED
Korzo, Den Haag
movingfutures.nl

28 April
Re:Born at Moving Futures // CANCELLED
Theater Kikker, Utrecht
movingfutures.nl

14 May
Re:Born live and film at Moving Futures // CANCELLED
Nieuwe Vorst, Tilburg
movingfutures.nl

17 May
Lecture Performance Re:Born at Moving Futures // CANCELLED
Grand Theater, Groningen
movingfutures.nl

06 June
Lecture Performance Re:Born at Moving Futures // CANCELLED
Podium Bloos, Breda
movingfutures.nl

14 till 28 June
Re:Born on American Dance Festival
Nasher Museum of Art, USA
americandancefestival.org

18 June
Re:Born live and film at Moving Futures // CANCELLED
Club Soda, Tilburg
shop.ikbenaanwezig.nl

05 till 12 July
Re:Born on American Dance Festival
Nasher Museum of Art, USA
americandancefestival.org

09 July
Re:Born ar Staycation of Pop Up Cinema + Q&A
Nieuwe Vorst, Tilburg
popupcinema.nu

14 July
Re:Born at Staycation of Pop Up Cinema + Q&A
Natlab, Eindhoven
popupcinema.nu

15 till 28 July
Re:Born on Dance Days Chania
Chania, Kreta, Greece
dancedays.gr

17 July
Re:Born live at #summersessions
De Nieuwe Vorst, Tilburg
denieuwevorst.nl

03 till 06 September
Re:Born at Bucharest International Dance Film Festival
Bucharest, Romania
bidff.ro

25 till 27 September
Re:Born at Thessaloniki Cinedans International
Thessaloniki, Greece
die-wolke.org

17 till 25 October
Re:Born at San Fransisco Dance Film Festival
San Fransisco, USA
sfdancefilmfest.org



news

27.10.20
Re:Born is selected for Dance on Screen Festival 2020, Graz
Re:Born is part of the official selection of the Dance on Screen Festival 2020 in Graz, Austria. The festival will take place on November 20th, 21st and 22nd in Graz. Re:Born will have its Austrian premiere there.
More information can be found at: www.danceonscreen.at

more...
27.10.20

Re:Born is selected for Dance on Screen Festival 2020, Graz

Re:Born is part of the official selection of the Dance on Screen Festival 2020 in Graz, Austria. The festival will take place on November 20th, 21st and 22nd in Graz. Re:Born will have its Austrian premiere there.
More information can be found at: www.danceonscreen.at



16.10.20
Re:Born nominated for the jury award at the San Fransisco Dance Film Festival
On October 12, we received news that Re:Born has been nominated for the jury prize of the San Francisco Dance Film Festival! We are very honored and happy with this nomination. The San Francisco Dance Film Festival is known as one of the most prestigious dance film festivals in the world. Being selected was a great honor, being nominated for this prize is the icing on the cake!
On the October 26 the winners will be announced and we will know if the Re:Born prize can take home.

more...
16.10.20

Re:Born nominated for the jury award at the San Fransisco Dance Film Festival

On October 12, we received news that Re:Born has been nominated for the jury prize of the San Francisco Dance Film Festival! We are very honored and happy with this nomination. The San Francisco Dance Film Festival is known as one of the most prestigious dance film festivals in the world. Being selected was a great honor, being nominated for this prize is the icing on the cake!
On the October 26 the winners will be announced and we will know if the Re:Born prize can take home.

 



07.05.20
Good news for Re:Born in difficult days.
The world is changing. While trying to focus on the future, sustainable solutions and working out ways to collaborate, adjust, social distance, participate, initiate, it can be hard sometimes to keep going..

more...
07.05.20

Good news for Re:Born in difficult days.

The world is changing. While trying to focus on the future, sustainable solutions and working out ways to collaborate, adjust, social distance, participate, initiate, it can be hard sometimes to keep going..

Keep inventing when there is so much around us that has been cancelled, broken, unsafe, unhealthy, uncertain. However, we happily received some good news from around the globe these days. Re:Born has been selected for two international dance film festival! In June and July Re:Born is part of the American Dance Film Festival in the USA and in late July Re:Born will travel to Chania, Kreta, Greece for the Dance Days Chania festival.  

 

We're very happy that the work can still be spread, can still be seen and shared with others. Dance films are a versatile medium these days, as we can screen, view them from a distance at home or at an event with 1.5 meters apart. The crisis we're facing is not over yet or anytime time soon, but it's these little lights at the horizon that keeps us going! 





19.07.20
Re:Born on San Francisco Dance Film Festival
We're very happy and honored to announce that Re:Born is part of the official selection of the San Francisco Dance Film Festival! The festival, known as the Golden Globed of dance film takes place from October 18th until October 25th 2020.
More information can be found at: www.sfdancefilmfest.org

more...
19.07.20

Re:Born on San Francisco Dance Film Festival

We're very happy and honored to announce that Re:Born is part of the official selection of the San Francisco Dance Film Festival! The festival, known as the Golden Globed of dance film takes place from October 18th until October 25th 2020.
More information can be found at: www.sfdancefilmfest.org



16.03.20
Screenings Re:Born cancelled due to Covid-19 virus
With a heavy heart, but with an understanding of the situation regarding the measures around the Corona/Covid-19 virus, we must announce that all screening of Re:Born until June 1st have been canceled. Moving Futures Rotterdam, Festival Cement and the premiere at Cinedans will not take place.

more...
16.03.20

Screenings Re:Born cancelled due to Covid-19 virus

With a heavy heart, but with an understanding of the situation regarding the measures around the Corona/Covid-19 virus, we must announce that all screening of Re:Born until June 1st have been canceled. Moving Futures Rotterdam, Festival Cement and the premiere at Cinedans will not take place.

Would you still like to contribute to Re: Born? You can do this by renting the film for € 1 via Vimeo On Demand: vimeo.com/ondemand/reborn 

  

Note: Sometimes there are problems with the payment on Vimeo. Do you prefer to pay via Tikkie? You can do this via this link: tikkie.me/pay/48jjf2aon2ca4huh42uh 

Then send an email to info@bodyofart.nl and you will receive the film! 



16.03.20
★★★★ review for Re:Born!
Film site De Protagonisten reviewed Re:Born:
"Choreographer Annemijn Rijk is responsible for that experimental dance. The dance makes the film intriguing. The intimacy and fragility are clear. Naked in nature, where the basis of man lies. Composer Aura Bouw also deserves a compliment. The dark ambient music that can be heard during the dance adds to the darkness of the film. And to complete the picture, the cinematography is also beautiful. It could have lasted longer from us. It tastes like more! "

more...
16.03.20

★★★★ review for Re:Born!

Film site De Protagonisten reviewed Re:Born:
"Choreographer Annemijn Rijk is responsible for that experimental dance. The dance makes the film intriguing. The intimacy and fragility are clear. Naked in nature, where the basis of man lies. Composer Aura Bouw also deserves a compliment. The dark ambient music that can be heard during the dance adds to the darkness of the film. And to complete the picture, the cinematography is also beautiful. It could have lasted longer from us. It tastes like more! "

The complete review can be found here  



05.03.20
Re:Born wins price!
Happy news! Re:Born was chosen as the film of the month by the Rogue Dancer Film Fest

more...
05.03.20

Re:Born wins price!

Happy news! Re:Born was chosen as the film of the month by the Rogue Dancer Film Fest

After Re:Born was selected for the monthly selection by the American film festival, the film was finally selected as "Film of the month, February 2020." 

After a screening in Denver, Colorado on March 7, Re: Born will now also be shown at the film festival in Durham, North Carolina on November 8, 2020. 



09.01.20
Re:Born selected for Cinedans!
Re:Born is selected for festival Cinedans!
On March 28th and 29th 2020 you can see Re:Born in the Dutch selection of Cinedans at film museum EYE in Amsterdam.

more...
09.01.20

Re:Born selected for Cinedans!

Re:Born is selected for festival Cinedans!
On March 28th and 29th 2020 you can see Re:Born in the Dutch selection of Cinedans at film museum EYE in Amsterdam.

Cast and crew are very excited and grateful to be able to show the work in the context of the festival. More information, times and exact locations can be found at www.cinedans.nl 



11.12.19
Re:Born on Festival Cement!
Re: Born is programmed at Festival Cement 2020! From the 21st until the 24th of March the film will be shown in the Verkadefabriek Den Bosch, in the context of the festival.

more...
11.12.19

Re:Born on Festival Cement!

Re: Born is programmed at Festival Cement 2020! From the 21st until the 24th of March the film will be shown in the Verkadefabriek Den Bosch, in the context of the festival.

Annemijn will also give a number of lecture performances about the creation of the film. 



05.12.19
Preview Re:Born
On December 4, 2019, Re: Born had a festive pre-premiere at the Cinecitta film house in Tilburg. In a collaboration with Pop Up Cinema and DansBrabant, Re:Born was presented as "Cinesandwich."

more...
05.12.19

Preview Re:Born

On December 4, 2019, Re: Born had a festive pre-premiere at the Cinecitta film house in Tilburg. In a collaboration with Pop Up Cinema and DansBrabant, Re:Born was presented as "Cinesandwich."

Re:Born - Annemijn Rijk & Fleur Bax - 11 min. NL 2019

An exclusive preview of the short dance film by Annemijn Rijk and Fleur Bax. In a new concept, 'CineSandwich', Pop Up Cinema presents a special viewing experience. 

We watch the short film, talk to the makers and then watch the film one more time. With a peek in the making process, you suddenly look at a film in a completely different way. 

 

Re: Born - a short dance film about getting up 

As if she had just collapsed from the sky. We see a creature motionless on the ground, under the mucus and with just enough power to breathe. The long legs stretched out, the knees bony. The face hidden under the arms, anonymous, alone. To survive, an apparently impossible challenge lies in the prospect: To get up. 

 

How do you get up if you are thrown into life so hard? How do you proceed if life attacks you like that? How do you stand up if you don't know how to get your body together? Re: Born is about a force that must be found and that must be felt in every fiber, the force that is needed to believe (again) in the body, that is needed to rise. 

 

This program was made possible in part by: Cinecitta, Pop Up Cinema, DansBrabant. 

 

Re: Born is the first part of the body work of art Body of Art; a multi-year art project by dance maker Annemijn Rijk in which the body and experience of being human are central. 





about

Body of Art is a framework of art that has been worked on since 2019 by choreographer Annemijn Rijk. The ten themes from the book Body of Art each offer a guideline and context for research. The results of these ten studies form the main source of inspiration during the creation of the (art) work linked to the theme. These ten works can take the form of dance, a monologue, photo, film, an essay or another form of expression.

more...

about

Body of Art is a framework of art that has been worked on since 2019 by choreographer Annemijn Rijk. The ten themes from the book Body of Art each offer a guideline and context for research. The results of these ten studies form the main source of inspiration during the creation of the (art) work linked to the theme. These ten works can take the form of dance, a monologue, photo, film, an essay or another form of expression.

The most recent work Re:Born, a short dance film about getting up, has been created around the theme 'The Abject Body'. Re:Born is a co-creation with director Fleur Bax. The film had its first preview on December 4th 2019 in Cinecitta in Tilburg in a program by Pop Up Cinema and DansBrabant and will be shown in multiple cities and festivals throughout The Netherlands. See agenda for the upcoming showings. 

The second chapter that will be worked on is 'The Absent Body'. Last Resistance, the creation that is connect to this chapter will be created in 2020 and will premiere in the fall of 2020. Body of Art is a long term project, Annemijn aims to take 5 years to complete the whole project.  



biography

Annemijn Rijk (1993) graduated in 2016 from the Bachelor of Choreography at the Fontys Danceacademy. With the body as the basis and reference point for what connects us, dance is the optimum medium of communication for her. Annemijn's work is both physical and theatrical, which makes her able to tap into multiple layers.

more...

biography

Annemijn Rijk (1993) graduated in 2016 from the Bachelor of Choreography at the Fontys Danceacademy. With the body as the basis and reference point for what connects us, dance is the optimum medium of communication for her. Annemijn's work is both physical and theatrical, which makes her able to tap into multiple layers.

biography

Annemijn her graduation performance 'Milk & Honey' was nominated for the ITS Krisztina de Chatel Award and the Boulevard Entrance Award. In 2017 she created the solo 'L.A.M'. which she recreated for the Schritt_macher festival in 2018 into a group piece for 24 dancers. 'Lullaby', a duet in collaboration with Piet van Dycke, has been playing on numerous stages and festivals throughout the Netherlands since 2018, including Moving Futures and Festival Cement. Annemijn also created choreographies for institutions such as De Stilte, the pre education of Artez and Fontys Dance Academy. She is currently working as a freelance choreographer with North Brabant as a base and is connected to the Makershuis Tilburg where she is working on the multiple year project Body of Art. 



contact

(email) info@bodyofart.nl
(telefoon) +31634179129
(instagram) @bodyofart.nl
(facebook) @annemijn.rijk



111
I. The Abject Body

Re:Born

A short dance film about getting up

As if she had collapsed from the sky. We see a creature motionless on the ground, under the mucus and with just enough power to breathe. The long legs stretched out, the knees bony. The face hidden under the arms, anonymous, alone. To survive, an apparently impossible challenge lies in the prospect: Getting up. 

How do you get up if you are thrown into life so hard? How do you proceed if life attacks you bluntly? How do you stand up if you don't know how to get your body together? Re:Born is dance film about the force that must be found and that must be felt in every fiber, the force that is needed to believe in the body (again), that is needed to rise. 

Re:Born is realised in collaboration with Fleur Bax (1997), a young filmmaker and director who will graduate in 2019 from the School of Art in Utrecht in the direction of direction and scenario. She also followed classes at the Bezalel Academy of Arts and Design in Jeruzalem, Israel. Fleur has made multiple short film works in het time as a students and collaborated with artists such as composer Aura Bouw, fashion designer Virgina Patti and choreographer Annemijn Rijk. 

 


Genre
dance film

Duration
10min24

Dance
Nicole van de Berg

Concept and choreography
Annemijn Rijk

Director
Fleur Bax

Director of photography
David van der Drift

Music
Aura Bouw

Camera assistance
Noa Kosanović
Direction assistance & sound
Flip Kwakkel

Makeup artist & stillsphotography
Sophie Gipmans



Flyer design

Loes Verstappen

Re: Born is made with financial support from
Makershuis Tilburg
Makersfonds Tilburg
Province of Noord-Brabant
Prins Bernhard Cultuurfonds Noord-Brabant



And with special thanks to
DansBrabant


research
Ten questions to three brave women

In preparation for Re:Born, I, Annemijn Rijk, interviewed several young women of my own age who experienced sexual abuse when they were young. I did not specifically ask them about what happened at the time, but rather about the relationship they had, still have or had to rebuild with their bodies. All these brave women told me how it was their body that eventually helped them through the dark days. They spoke of a "survival instinct" One described as if that instinct rushed through her veins like waves, someone indicated that she felt it in her chest and that it slowly pushed her up. 

This described survival instinct and how it works in the body has ultimately been the main source of inspiration for the creation of Re:Born. Read the interviews with them* below. 

 

* The real names of these women have been changed. 

Interview with Iris

Interview with Iris

(A) Do you have comforting memories that helped you shortly after the abuse? This can be people / pets / situations, but also something small like a hug at the right time. If so, could you describe it?  

(I) I find that a difficult one, I told my parent very late. So at that time I had no use for them. I did tell my colleague, because my situation occurred at work. I have had a lot of support for the colleague who helped me. I told my best friend first and she often helped me and asked how I was doing. I got the most support and comfort from her. I deliberately didn't tell many people because I didn't want to be found pathetic. I also did not want to be supported, because I was still denying it. If it just happened, people are busy with it, a lot later a lot less. The colleague I told him continued to do check ups with me, that was nice. My best friend went to the police. She planned that and took me by the hand. That was concrete support. It felt good. 

 

(A) Do you have specific moments of fearful memories that came from your experiences? If so, could you describe one?  

(I) Because it was a colleague of mine, I was very afraid at the beginning that I still had to work with him or that I would come across him unexpectedly. We had the same position, but he had additional duties that allowed him to walk freely through the city and get to all departments. He still had access to me. He was driving a white car. I didn't know the brand, only that it was small and white, so I was afraid of all white cars. Recently, I was eating out with my new friend and in-laws, and then I thought I met him, that he entered the restaurant. It turned out to be someone completely different, but then my entire evening was immediately ruined. I feel anxiety or tension in my forehead. it bundles up there. I prefer not to go to the city alone. I have the feeling that I have to look around all the time. If I am with someone else I have less problems with that. Then I feel safer. 

 

(A) Where in your body do you feel the pain / fear / shame that is related to your experiences? And where do you feel the power needed for the recovery process?  

(I) In the beginning that pain, those negative emotions, was in my lower abdomen. It is difficult to explain, I do not know exactly, but the strength is in my chest and shoulders. Since I am doing better, I have become a lot more right. My chest is pushing me up and it feels like that power is flowing from my chest to the rest of my body. It is difficult to describe. It comes from within, not from outside. 

 

(A) Do you still carry your experience(s) with you and do you embrace it? Or did you leave it behind and is it no longer in your body?  

(I) It varies a bit and it depends on how I feel. For me it is still fairly recent, so it feels as if I sometimes carry it with me and sometimes not. In the beginning I always carried it with me and I did not accept the feeling. Now I manage that better, but not yet completely. I have already left it behind more, but I cannot yet fully embrace it and accept it. I think I will carry it with me in the future and accept it. I can't shake it out. I myself am a social worker and I don't think therapy would help me. It would even have the opposite effect. Later when I still need it, I may want to go into therapy, but not now. 

 

(A) How does the force that you needed during the processing / recovery feel in your body? Soft, wavy, hard, powerful, bundled?  

(I) It feels powerful and I feel more confident again. It is present, but it is hard to describe, as if a sea is flowing through me. The force ripples from my chest to the rest of my body. 

 

(A) What do you feel when you look at your own body? 

(I) That is difficult. I don't really look at it anymore. I no longer look at myself to avoid confrontation. I have trouble looking at myself in the mirror. It is not that I look in the mirror and that I think "I look good." I miss that, I used to do that a lot. But now I only check if I look presentable. I had poor self-esteem for my abuse experience and I worked hard to improve it. But my self-image has been crushed again by my experience. 

When I look at myself, I always hear that man in the back of my mind. That is too confronting for me, then I better not look in the mirror. That voice repeats itself in my head. When I go to the gym and I take a physical exercise class, it is always in a room with mirrors. I then stand at the back, so I don't have to see myself. 

 

(A) When you think of your experience (s), it is one total thought that you carry with you or a (physical) load / luggage? (In other words: Is the memory of your experience mainly nestled in your head or in your body?)  

(I) Oh, that's a difficult question, I think it's both. When I think back unconsciously, I think about it. But then I relive it automatically and then I also feel it physically. I immediately feel those hands everywhere. On my lower abdomen, my back, my breasts. That you feel your body makes you experience it every time. That re-experience is easy to trigger: A hand on my shoulder is enough. Recently a client asked me something and I reacted quite fiercely to that. "What's the matter with you?" People ask. A physical reminder makes the re-experience extra strong, and makes me feel dirty and guilty afterwards. 

 

(A) Is there a metaphor that you can think of that can indicate your recovery? 

(I) I used to watch a movie where there was a bird in a nest. All other birds flew out, but that bird was left alone. He only had to learn to fly, but didn't dare. He always fell out of the tree, but kept trying. Then he climbed the tree again and tried again. Eventually he succeeds. He flew. When I think about the other birds, I think, "Guys, come and help." I wanted help, but I didn't know what help I needed. I did know that I didn't want any help from people who were close to me. There is less emotion for me when I talk about it with someone I don't know. When I finally told my parents, they reacted very emotionally. My father was very angry and said he wanted to do something about the perpetrator. That was terrible for me. I wanted to just say it and not talk about it afterwards. I went to the police, but finally decided not to report it. The police asked very critical questions in my report, because a lawyer could do the same. They asked why I did not resist. They showed me screenshots of security cameras, but you can't see how he threatened me on those images. How he said what he would do to me if I didn't go with him. I am small and petite, that man was tall and wide. There was no point in moving. Ultimately, only a report was made. He received an official warning at work, but I was eventually fired. My then director believed me, but he made promises he could not keep. Because they could not legally dismiss him and the situation was not justified, I finally had to leave. It took 4 months before an official warning came. Costs that I incurred at the time because of the use of a mediator were allowed to recover from them. I had to wait 5 months until I finally got my money back. That meant that I didn't feel taken seriously and couldn't close it properly. There was literally another account open. 

 

(A) What did you develop? What are you extra good at because you have developed a double awareness? 

(I) I quickly understand the intentions of someone. I looked naive to many people. But what happened is not due to naivety. I worked for an aid organization, you assume that you can trust your colleagues. I am now less naive and more attentive. Whether that is positive or negative? I think both. I now experience it as positive. With some people I now pay more attention, I keep my distance. Especially with men. I'm on my guard when they come closer. I am less afraid of women, but I also keep my distance. I have noticed that women quickly have their opinion ready, can be underhanded. People gossiped about me at work. People wanted to know exactly what had happened. There were remarks like "she must have provoked it" and "she just wanted attention." Those were actually always men. 

 

I found it exciting to start dating again after my experience, because I didn't know how men would react to it. I finally told my new friend what happened and that I have limits that he must accept. He was shocked, but immediately accepted it. I was afraid he would find me a flaky sandwich, but luckily it wasn't. If I have a bad day, he understands that he should not touch me. 

 

If I had a daughter later, I would tell her not to be too naive. That she has to pay attention. Especially with people you trust. In most cases, they are acquaintances who become perpetrators, not the scary man in the bushes. If I had a son, I would tell him that no really means no. That he must respect limits. That would really be a basic principle for me that I would give in the upbringing of my children. 

 

(A) How would you like people to have reacted when you told them? 

(I) Not in the negative. I often have had the idea that I had to prove that it had happened. I would have liked it if people would say they were happy that I told them. Show understanding. I find it annoying when people ask for details. "What exactly happened?" I also learned that people did not believe me. "What do you want to hear?" I think. In retrospect, I dealt with it too easily, I should have stood up for myself more. I learned that now. 

Interview with Marthe

Interview with Marthe

(A) Do you have comforting memories that helped you shortly after the abuse? This can be people / pets / situations, but also something small like a hug at the right time. If so, could you describe it? 

(M) It gave me a lot of comfort when I heard the experiences of fellow sufferers. I was no longer alone. I also got a lot of comfort from running, which made me feel completely in control again. I also liked that others from my area wanted to listen to me. 

 

(A) Do you have specific moments of fearful memories that came from your experiences? If so, could you describe one?  

(M) I have anxious memories of the fact that I had no control at all. It is the scariest thing that ever happened to me, I was completely left to his mercy. The rape took place while walking, so I have bad memories of that too. Seeing his face is the most fearful memory for me. The trace investigation afterwards was also very annoying. I have nasty memories of it. In the past, these memories often came to mind at night. I had nightmares and woke up in a panic. 

 

(A) If you had to sign your processing process, what would it look like?  

(M) It is a drawing of myself that gives herself a hug. Others stand around it, all with a comforting hand on my shoulder. I would draw the processing process as an up and down line with peaks and troughs. 

 

(A) Where in your body do you feel the pain / fear / shame that is related to your experiences? And where do you feel the power needed for the recovery process? 

(M) My vagina and anus had become war zones. I couldn't look at it, let alone touch it. I often had pain that, according to care providers, was psychosomatic. According to them, that pain was not real and it was all in my head. 

 

(A) Do you still carry your experience (s) with you and do you embrace it? Or did you leave it behind and is it no longer in your body? 

(M) I carry my experience with me and embrace it. Sometimes it is very heavy, sometimes it is light and it feels great. It changes from day to day. 

 

(A) How does the force that you needed during the processing / recovery feel in your body? Soft, wavy, hard, powerful, bundled?  

(M) That power is a kind of inner glow of self-love. In the beginning it was very powerful and pushed me forward like a wind. Then it became softer and I prefer to be myself. I have experienced that power as a sort of primordial urge to get back on top. 

 

(A) What do you feel when you look at your own body?  

(M) I feel very satisfied now. I'm proud of my body. I have some scars from the automutilation that started as a result of my rape, but they also belong to me. They are proof of the hard fight I have fought to become myself again. 

 

(A) When you think of your experience (s), is it a (mental) thought that you carry with you or a (physical) load / luggage? (In other words: Is the memory of your experience mainly nestled in your head or in your body?) 

(M) Now it's mainly in my head. The bad feeling in my body is gone. I do feel that I have become stronger both mentally and physically through what I have experienced. 

 

(A) Is there a metaphor that you can think of that can indicate your recovery? 

(M) A poem that reminds me a lot of my recovery is "Dust if you must." In the beginning I could only lie in bed and do nothing. My life passed by me. Only later did I find the sense and energy to live again. 

 

Dust if you must, but it would be better 

To paint a picture, or write a letter, 

Bake a cake or plant a seed; 

Ponder the difference between want and need? 

 

Dust if you must, but there's not much time, 

With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb; 

Music to hear, and books to read; 

Friends to cherish, and life to lead. 

 

Dust if you must, but the world's out there 

With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair; 

A flutter or snow, a shower or rain, 

This day will not come around again. 

 

Dust if you must, but bear in mind, 

Old age will come and it's not kind. 

And when you go (and you must go) 

You, yourself, will make more dust. 

 

by Rose Milligan 

 

Another poem that reminds me is the following. It reminds me that I am not a victim but a survivor. 

 

Do not stand at my grave and weep 

I am not there. I do not sleep. 

I am a thousand winds that blow. 

I am the diamond glints on snow. 

I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 

I am the gentle autumn rain. 

When you wake up in the morning's hush 

I am the swift uplifting rush 

Or quiet birds in circled flight. 

I am the soft stars that shine at night. 

Do not stand at my grave and cry; 

I am not there. I did not die that. 

 

by Mary Elizabeth Frye 

 

(A) What did you develop? What are you extra good at because you have developed a double awareness? 

(M) I started to pay more attention to my limits and don't just let me walk over me anymore. Sometimes I bite off a bit too hard, but that is the urge to protect myself. I now also know my own strength much better. I started running to process my experience and now run marathons. This helped me a lot, because I was working together with my body again after running instead of fighting it. This also taught me to listen to my body again. I could put all my emotions in it. Running is something incredibly beautiful that I have recovered from my recovery. 

Interview with Elif

Interview with Elif

(A) Do you have comforting memories that helped you shortly after the abuse? This can be people / pets / situations, but also something small like a hug at the right time. If so, could you describe it?  

(E) I was just a kid when it happened and I have no specific comforting memories of that time. I told no one then, so there was no one who could help me. I was particularly relieved when it was over. Only later, when I was about 15 years old, during a school trip did a classmate talk about how her stepfather had abused her. I then went to her at a quiet moment and told that I understood her and I told her that I had experienced something similar. It helped me to know that I was not the only one who was the victim of abuse. At that time I felt less alone in my grief. 

 

(A) Do you have specific moments of fearful memories that came from your experiences? If so, could you describe one? 

(E) Yes, every time he came by, I was scared again. I was abused by my babysitter, so I had nothing to say about when he would come by. I always tried to postpone the moment he would put me to bed as long as possible. Then I ran through the house or lay down on the floor and tried to make myself heavy. But I was 6 or 7 years old, he was around 18, I didn't stand a chance. That powerless feeling frightened me very much. I still find it difficult not to have control over situations. I am then inclined to compensate for another situation, such as my eating habits. I had moments in my teenage years where I noted my food intake and tried to eat as little as possible. To have control over my body. 

 

(A) Where in your body do you feel the pain / fear / shame that is related to your experiences? And where do you feel the power needed for the recovery process? 

(E) The shame is in my lower abdomen. It hides deep between my intestines and blood vessels. I hardly ever let it out, but when men come closer it takes over my whole body, like a fungus. I get cold and block them. I find it very difficult to let people in physically, unless I know that there are no feelings involved or when it is without sexual intentions. 

 

(A) Do you still carry your experience (s) with you and do you embrace it? Or have you left it behind and is it no longer in your body? 

(E) I carry it with me and I think I have almost embraced it. That I have almost completely accepted myself with the situation as it is. Even though I couldn't do anything about the situation myself, I'm still ashamed of it. I only dare to talk about it with people I really trust. 

 

(A) How does the force that you needed during the processing / recovery feel in your body? Soft, wavy, hard, powerful, bundled? 

(E) It can best be described as a primal force. Pure urge to survive. In that sense it is not soft, but it feels to me that that power was able to dose itself just right. As if it was something stronger and smarter than me. It kept me going and has brought me a step further in my recovery time and time again. I link it most to nature, to energy. Such as sun rays and running water. Elements that serve us and help us move forward. That power lives in me, I have received a large dose of it. Sometimes it is clenched in my fists, sometimes it pumps through my veins and sometimes it ripples gently through my vertebra to my toes. 

 

(A) What do you feel when you look at your own body? 

(E) I feel proud. Proud of this body which I have rebuilt myself. That I know my muscles well, that my skin shines and that it is a beautiful, feminine body. No one I don't trust can touch my body. I hate it when people are too close. I only want to share it with the people I love, who have proven to me that they will not damage my most precious possession, my body. 

 

(A) When you think of your experience (s), is it a (mental) thought that you carry with you or a (physical) load / luggage? (In other words: Is the memory of your experience mainly nestled in your head or in your body?)  

(E) For me, my experience is both in my head and in my body. I can block if someone touches me too much or too quickly, that is a physical reaction. In my head it goes very quickly then, I am afraid of what could possibly happen. I would rather run away really fast and never have to see that person again, because I don't want to explain where that blockade comes from. But of course that is not possible, so I have to try to indicate to them that my physical boundaries are a bit tighter than with most people. Because I struggle with that I often avoid situations in which such contact can occur. I am not someone who often has relationships. When I think about the situation I can feel a lot of powerlessness. Powerlessness and defeat, because I know that I can not change anything about how the situation was then. "What if I had this .." or "if only I had that ..." If I think about it, I can explain to myself that I have done nothing wrong. Yet I am not always smiling. 

 

(A) Is there a metaphor that you can think of that can indicate your recovery? 

(E) I see many metaphors in nature: A tree that loses its leaves and slowly blooms again, a frozen lake that slowly thaws, animals that go into hibernation and only wake up again in the spring. Time in particular was an important factor in my recovery. It took me about 15 to 20 years until I could call my body my own again. It has been an intensive and long process with peaks and lows and that I have sometimes been more and sometimes less aware of. 

 

(A) What did you develop? What are you extra good at because you have developed a double awareness? 

(E) I have learned to embrace my body again. I think I have learned from close contact with my body how to take care of my body and how to use it best, for example in my work as an artist. I am also very careful about allowing others into my life and I can "read" others quickly. 

 

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II. The Absent Body

Last Resistance

A duet between voice and man

Last Resistance is a duet between the grasping body of a young man and the clear, warm voice of the messages he plays, again and again and again. Holding on to what he still has, in a desperate attempt to hear from the voice how he should continue living, how to carry the cold sweat on his body without her. 

Last Resistance unfolds fragmentarily, like a fever dream. The exact timeline of events, origins, relationships and consequences is not shown. The public only has access to the one-sided information from the voice. What has happened is indefinite, but what it does to the body is inevitable. The performer's long, limber and at the same time brittle limbs suppress, gathering tension and eagerly interlock in search of control. To then burst again, at the most impossible moments, to wave around like unguided wreckages, looking for hope and salvation, for breath, for space for light or enlightenment. 

 

“Nobody really tells you this, but sometimes, the healing hurts more than the wound. Yet I want you to know darling, that a healed person can love you to death and never speak to you again. I need you to understand that.”

– part of the monolgue

Last Resistance will premiere January 30th, 2021 in theater De Nieuwe Vorst, Tilburg, The Netherlands.  


Concept, text & choreography
Annemijn Rijk

Dance
Blazej Jansinski

Voice
Tessa Stephenson

Text editor
Anna van der Kruis
Music
Aura Bouw

Production
Makershuis Tilburg

Graphic Design
Loes Verstappen


research
In the bleak mid-winter

In the bleak mid-winter 

Frosty wind made moan; 

Earth stood hard as iron 

Water like a stone 

Snow had fallen, snow on snow 

Snow on snow 

In the bleak mid-winter 

Long ago 

 

 

What can I give him 

Poor as I am? - 

If I were a shepherd 

I would bring him a lamb; 

If I were a wise man 

I would do my part, - 

Yet what can I give him 

 

Give my heart 

 

“When we are ashamed we can’t tell our stories, and our stories are the foundation of our existence.”

- Andrew Solomon

“On the surface it might look like that on the day we met, you made a mistake.”
“You stole something, your parents labeled you a little, eight year old thief. But it wasn’t a mistake at all, underneath the surface that delicate act of transgression was actually a well considered solution for some of your other problems.
Just like me coming into your life is not something you should see as a problem, it was a solution. It is quite fucking beautiful actually, the creativity, the imagination through which your survival instinct manifested itself. Not all child soldiers live in war zones, you know.”

“Looking back on it, you were probably already too invisible to the people around you for them to recognize your behavior as such. Survival of the fittest. Like what they said on National Geographic. The man with the slow talking voice. He called a snow leopard a ghost cat. Ghost cat. Because snow leopards hardly ever let themselves be seen. Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.”

- A paragraph that didn't make it in the final edit, but still speaks volume
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III. Beauty

Woman's Work

Where should we begin?

Womans' Work/Where should we begin? (Worktitle) is a duet between Pauline Roelants and Annemijn Rijk which will be expected to be released in season 2020-2021 

"And at a certain point, beauty becomes interchangeable with the truth. And it's in these moments, that you really start to understand the life you're living."

"Representation of (bodily) beauty today has, like human society itself, become inclusive. Rather than a hollowed arena that mirrors specific cultural ideas, it has become a stage for powerful social critique."

- Phaidon, 2015

Concept & choreography
Annemijn Rijk

Performance
Annemijn Rijk & Pauline Roelants

Production
Makershuis Tilburg


research
Scribbles from a notebook

"There's this thing about a telephone conversation. The voice is close, direct into your ear. The voice is unique, it belongs to someone. And yet, with the crispy filter of the phone line sometimes hard to distinguish. There's a geographic distance. You can be open, completely honest. Sharing your secrets, the most private parts of yourself you always try to hide and yet never having to show what you look like. You never have to reveal yourself. Making the telephone a safe haven for some, a crime scene for other. The phone cord a lifeline to reach out to or a string wrapped around a neck, tighter and tighter."  

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IV. Identity

Identity

 

 




research

 

"A name is an identity, and an identity works two ways. The way I see me and the way you see me. And when someone says "I see you", while you're so desperately looking for recognition, it is not enough to only hear "I want to see you". You want to see and hear and feel the effort they put into seeing you for you."

– Scribble from notebook

 

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V. The body's limits

The body's limits

 




research

 

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VI. Power

 




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VII. Emotions embodied

 




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VIII. Religion & Believe

 




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IX. Sex & Gender

 




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X. Bodies & Space

Body of Art is a multi-year project consisting of ten chapters. Each chapter has a theme related to the human body that forms the basis for research. Work is then created from this research. The form of expression of the work is always open in advance, so that the final (art) product can take on various forms. The order of the chapters is intuitively determined by the maker. The following chapters are 'The Absent Body' and 'Beauty'. 'The Abject Body' is the first, completed chapter.